How to Get a Sponsor in AA — What to Look For and What to Expect

Getting a sponsor is one of the first suggestions made to newcomers in AA. It's also one of the most misunderstood. A sponsor isn't a therapist, a best friend, or a parole officer. A sponsor is someone who has worked the 12 steps and is willing to share how they did it.

What a Sponsor Does

A sponsor guides you through the 12 steps as described in the Big Book. They share their own experience — not advice, not opinions, but experience. They're available when you need to talk through a resentment, a fear, or a situation where your thinking might be distorted. They hold you accountable without shaming you.

How to Find One

The simplest way: go to meetings. Listen for people who have what you want. After the meeting, ask them how they got it. If they've worked the steps and are willing to guide you through the same process, ask if they'd sponsor you. Don't overthink it. The right sponsor doesn't need to be perfect — they need to have done the work.

Between Calls With Your Sponsor

AABlueBook's AI Recovery Coach is available 24/7 for the moments between sponsor calls. It understands AA culture, the steps, and the Big Book. It's not a replacement for a sponsor — nothing is — but it helps you stay connected to the program between human contact. Free year on iOS: bit.ly/aabfree.